To refresh you memories, Elmwood is Memphis's oldest active cemetery. Families still bring their loved ones to be buried there. In its heyday of the 1850s, however, it was the place where families came to not only commune with the memories of those they had lost, they came to absorb the beauty of the grounds, and the peaceful atmosphere. This was the "Rural" cemetery so cherished by the Victorians: an escape from the activity of the outside world, and sometimes even a respite from the difficulties of life.
In the midst of the Civil War, a high infant mortality rate caused families a great deal of grief, as many children did not reach their fifth birthdays. Women lost husbands in battle; Men lost wives in childbirth, and a general vulnerability to the ravages of disease like measles, typhoid, tuberculosis, and the dreaded yellow fever decimated populations. The Victorian period swiftly became a culture of mourning, one that adopted what now seem like very rigid and precious customs. Women who had lost a spouse were expected to remain in mourning for at least two years, donning "widows' weeds," black raiment that was often terribly uncomfortable. Veils contained an acrid odor that made the eyes sting; fabric transferred black stains to the skin (colorfast dyes had not been adopted yet). The widow's manner was adopted by Queen Victoria, of course, who mourned Prince Albert for the rest of her life.
Queen Victoria of England: Reigned 1837-1901. By Alexander Bassano - Scanned from the book The National Portrait Gallery History of the Kings and Queens of England by David Williamson, ISBN 1855142287, p. 153., Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=6640482
Post-Mortem Photography
Again, because of the high infant mortality rate, poor sanitation, the limitations on medical research, death was very much a part of daily Victorian life. As a result, many wealthy families who had lost a loved one, sought out the aid of photographers to prepare a memento of the deceased loved one. Photographs of the individual were placed in lockets or placed on mantels for remembrance. This way, the image of the deceased was still very much alive in spirit and part of the family.
Your Response
Aside from offering us a kind of time capsule of Victorian manners and culture, Elmwood offers us a memorial to many who fought in wars (the Confederate Dead); helped to fight disease and cure the sick (the Howard Association, Mattie Stephenson, Emily Sutton, Annie Cook), challenged social norms and ideas about gender roles (Alice Mitchell), devoted their lives to the achievement of civil rights (Maxine Smith, Benjamin Hooks), as well as a store of history of Memphis dating back to 1852. In your responses, I want you to share your impressions of Elmwood, something you learned, but I want you to think about those who've gone before. How do we memorialize our loved ones? Is it with a photo we carry around? A little box of mementoes? In what ways do we carry on in the Victorian style to keep our loved ones close to us, even after they've gone on?
When my father passed away, my mother preserved and honored his memory by taking part of his favorite shirt and stretching it over a bit of cardboard. Over that, she pinned his war medals in formation across the shirt-covered board, and framed it. I have it to this day.
I really enjoyed Elmwood on Saturday. The weather was perfect, and Dr. Lester was very informative. I learned that mourning in the late 1800's/early 1900's was very personal, unique, and intimate experience which is very comforting in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteMy family is the same in that sense. We do a lot to remember those we have lost. I'm going to speak on my grandmother because her and my grandfather raised me, and they were a big part of who I am today.
I have two "favorite" things in remembrance of her.
1. I have a locket that my grandfather gave me last year that holds a picture of her and him, with the inscription "all because two kids fell in love", which is signifying that I am here today because my grandfather and my grandmother fell in love.
2. Growing up spending most of my days with my grandmother, I learned a lot, but I mainly learned how to cook. My grandmother prided herself in her cooking, and it was always the best. Every year, my Aunt Kathie gives me and ,y sister something that she has from my grandmothers kitchen, whether it be a baking dish or her beautiful antique stained glass plates that I only pull out on special occasions.
These are the things that mean the most to me... Memories... Loved ones... but most importantly, remembering those loved ones.
I was so glad to see you last Saturday! I hope you will soon be all healed up and can rid yourself of that contraption on your arm! I can relate well to your memories of your grandparents. I never knew my own, but my parents were of that same generation, I'm willing to wager. My mother is very much with me daily as I have followed from her example: she taught school for years, and every day my profession allows me to offer a little salute to her.
DeleteElmwood has a peaceful charm that I have never seen in previous cemeteries. The most beautiful headstones where those of the Chinese immigrants. While the were simple, the calligraphy was elegant.
ReplyDeleteThe most interesting person I learned about who is buried there is a woman by the name of Virginia Bethel Moon. She was notorious for smuggling pounds of drugs at a time underneath her hoop skirt. Being popular with the gentlemen, she was able to flirt her way across Union lines. At one time, she had 16 marriage proposals from both Confederate and Union sides. She used her Union fiances to gather important information for Nathan Bedford Forest. Eventually, she was imprisoned and later paroled. She spent the rest of her days aiding Union soldiers.
When I lost my uncle, I began to cherish some of his personal possessions. He had a red leather notebook where he wrote down quotes that inspired him. One quote was written in German, and translated to, "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger." While this quote is very well known, I felt closer to him when I read it because I have been learning German since high school.
We missed you on the tour, Sophia. I have heard of Virginia! She was quite a character. Each year Elmwood has a Veteran's Day tour in which actors portray some of the more noteworthy 'residents' at Elmwood. Her story is one of the most memorable as a Union spy during the Civil War. I really love your recollection of your uncle. There is something very sacred about owning something a loved one wrote in, particular. It seems that writing is very personal.
DeleteEven though, I wasn’t able to attend Elmwood I have been there plenty of times before. Growing up I’ve always thought it was just another cemetery. One day, I went with my family to go visit family members whom are buried there and I notice the different signs signaling to go different ways of the cemetery. I then learned that Elmwood is a historical cemetery. That day I enojoyed learning about the different statues some of the tomb stones had and the history behind it. Also to see how some tomb stones have been there for years that you cannot even see what is written on it anymore.
ReplyDeleteEvery year, my family and I celebrate el dia de los muertos, day of the dead for our family members who have passed. We make an alter to remember them. Also, every October 5, my family and I get together and go to Elmwood cemetery to mark the day my brother, aunt, and 3 cousins passed away in a house fire we had.
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DeleteHaving spent nearly half my adult life speaking Spanish, I developed a particular affection for Mexican culture--and Dia de los Muertos is something I am quite familiar with! My colleague, Dustin Williams, who teaches Spanish, organizes a Dia de Muertos celebration for his students.
Also, I am glad to hear you are familiar with Elmwood: However, bear in mind that I have chosen these excursions especially, and for particular reasons, for this course. I covered quite a bit of information on Elmwood during the tour concerning the Victorians, of course, but also some of the many varied Memphians who are there. It is not sufficient simply to be familiar with these sites, but to join the tour.
Daisy Neely-Mallory was married to Barton Lee Mallory and they had three children. She was born in Shelby County and died at age 95 in her home. Mrs. Mallory was one of the founders of the Vanity Fair Book Club, a member of Memphis Garden Club, Memphis Country Club, and First Presbyterian Church. She was a board member of the Home for Incurables, and a director of the YWCA (Youth Women's Christian Association). The portrait hanging on the wall in the Neely-Mallory house was a picture of her wearing a white debut gown. She took over the house after her parents died. Chester Lanier was a butler, chauffeur, and loyal servant to Mrs. Daisy Neely-Mallory. He remembered the traditional events in her life. On Mondays, she stayed at home with friends. On Saturday, she partied. Her Christmas party was the big event of the year. And, on holidays and birthdays Mrs. D. Neely-Mallory give gifts to her devoted helpers at home and employees at work place. Chester Lanier believed that nobody will be the same like Mrs. Neely-Mallory. Mrs. Daisy Neely-Mallory must had been a compassionate woman for taking care of her family and the people who works for her.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sayeda. Please read the post from now on. There are details you need to be aware of.
DeleteI still cannot get over the way that in the Victorian era a family's cemetery plot looked so much like a fencing on a home. Like it was mentioned these families lived so close with death and they knew that at some point this would be their permanent home. I can only imagine if the ghost of people appeared at cemeteries what would it look like to receive your loved ones coming to visit the cemetery plot. I love how the bathtub graves were used to plant flowers in them that they would tend to and not die so quickly as cut flowers. It is something that also reflects from a real home they had gates and gardens.
ReplyDeleteA way that many people in our times memorialize our loved ones especially in my family is by tattoos. There is one picture that everyone in my father's side of the family has of his mother, who practically raised all of her children alone, and a lot of my cousins and uncles have that image tattooed either on a leg on an arm. Another common thing in our family is naming someone after the person who had passed. My parents named me after that same grandmother who passed the same year and month I was born.
I love the fact that you have focused in on the concrete fencing in the Victorian family plots. It does demonstrate their emphasis on family, connectedness, in a way that is lasting and tangible--which makes your second point very poignant. Tattoos have come into the norm as a means of memorializing loved ones. I just mentioned to your classmate that I have a tattoo done in memory of a little pup I lost in 2015.
DeleteI got the chance to go to Elmwood yesterday. It was my first time in ten years.
ReplyDeleteAs strange as it may sound, my family does not believe in having funerals. So, when my grandmother passed away in 2011 there was no funeral. In my aunt's words they are "barbaric." I know that that must sound incredibly bizarre to some, but I actually agree with her stance. I think that there are other ways to pay respects to those who have passed on aside from having a funeral and burying the body in a cemetery.
The first boy that I fell in love with and with whom I was very close passed away five years ago now. When he passed away I made both Facebook and Instagram posts where I spoke of my love for him and essentially wished him the best in the afterlife. I did the same at the one year "anniversary" of his death as well as his birthday. I still have an orange guitar pick that he gave me and for about a year or so I kept it in my phone case. I think that social media posts are a common, modern day way to memorialize our loved ones, including pets. My dog passed away about a month ago and my mother wrote a very sweet, heartfelt caption above a photo of our beloved pup.
I tend to agree with you and your family's position on conventional funerals--i.e., black-clad mourners sitting around a box that's being lowered into the ground. I find them to be terribly contrived. I think mourning is a very personal thing, and that each of us has her own way of remembering someone she's lost. I can identify again, with what you say about your beloved pup. I lost my little doxie three years ago, and the loss is still felt. There was never a 'funeral,' per se, but I did dedicate a surface for his photos--and I also have a tattoo of a little message to him, alongside a paw print.
DeleteThe Elmwood Cemetery was established in 1852. It was the first rural cemetery garden in the South. Fifty Memphian residents had purchased a forty acres of land to be the burial place for passing love ones. The investors ordered an elm tree from New York in addition to Native Oak and Magnolia trees from Memphis to grow in the Elmwood cemetery. The cemetery expanded its territory up to eighty acres of land after the American Civil War, in 1861. In 1878, the yellow fever epidemic caused Memphian population census low. There was a death toll of 5,150 people died caused by a bite of a mosquito in Memphis city. With these amount of people died, the affluent white American citizens left Memphis and approximately 25,000 people moved outside the city. There are several tombstone symbolizes different meaning such as the alpha omega represents Christ; the American flag represents courage and pride; anchor represents the influence of Christ or a patron saint of seaman; angels represents spirituality; a book represents the book of life or the Bible; calla lily represents the Victorian era; Celtic or Irish cross represents eternity; column broken represents life cut short; dove represents resurrection, innocent and peace; drape urn represents immortality; horseshoe represents protection from evil or passion for horses; ivy and vines represents immortality, rebirth or regeneration; laurel represents victory; lion represents to protect the tomb from evil spirits; olive branch represents peace; sleeping child represents death during Victorian era; tree trunk represents brevity of life; wheel represents the cycle of life; etc. Elmwood Cemetery became the final resting place for people who are famous and not so famous including mayors, governors, madams, blues singers,
ReplyDeletesuffragists, martyrs, generals, civil rights leaders, holy men and women, outlaws, and millionaires. In 1870s, the Memphian investors no longer hold the Elmwood Cemetery. It was transferred to a nonprofit Tennessee organization, who now manage the property of the cemetery. Elmwood Cemetery is the historical of the past and the present from dignitary service men to an ordinary person that were laid to rest.